Randall Flood: Bring on The Magic0 words written so far (about 0% complete)
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WHY YOU NEED BETA READERS: PART SIX

Posted on April 28, 2013

Here's the last of the editing details I'm sharing from Ned Firebreak. I have some reworking to do and expect the book to be available on May 10th.

1. The paragraph below is tricky. I'm trying to show a mind wanting to react one way, but the thoughts of another commanding that person to do the opposite. The original below isn't clear and can be read many ways:

Another directive ground into place. She wants to see them hurt. Bring them pain for standing against her.

Here's the reworked version:

She wants to see them hurt, but I can't do that. Another directive ground into place, Stacia's desire superimposing over his more benign thoughts. Bring them pain for standing against her.

2. And now I know when to use sic and sick. You sic a dog on someone. You don't sick a dog on someone.

3. Here, a reader said they exited the dungeon and then burst out of the dungeon a second time. I agreed and changed it. Below is the original version:

They raced up and exited the dungeon through the large bone door. Outside in the open field, they were greeted by an army of Skallargian soldiers. As they burst into view, the soldiers all drew their weapons and pointed them at Ned and his party.

And now the fix:

They raced up the steps, the dungeon door only feet away. As they burst into the open, they were greeted by an army of Skallargian soldiers, who all swiftly drew their weapons and pointed them at Ned and his party.

I hope you enjoyed seeing some of the many edits made in a book. I grow as a reader and writer thanks to the hard work and attention of my beta readers.

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Comment by DIARMUID MACOISíN on SUNDAY, APRIL 28, 2013...
A great insight into the editing and proof-reading process; it's all about perspective and trying to keep things clear for the reader. Best of luck with the book Brian, I can't wait to check it out!
Comment by BRIAN CLOPPER on MONDAY, APRIL 29, 2013...
With each book, the ability to recognize my strengths and weaknesses grows and grows. I am so excited by the next few books coming out in 2013.

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